!REVOLUTION

singleness

Rachel — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:54:54 +0000

we had a speaker in chapel for the past two days who talked about the subject of sexual sin, dealing especially with pornography. he had a 30 year relationship to it, and it ultimately cost him his wife and family. he lost everything. but now he talks to us about how we should be aware and get out of it. we had a q & a time last night, and he said this:

i don’t know what it feels like but i envy the men – and this is something you (females) should want – who are satisfied with one girl and only girl for the rest of his life.

dear Lord.
send me that man
and let him only be satisfied with me.
and let him only look at me.

heaviness

Rachel — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:09:06 +0000

I know it seems
Like this could be
The darkest day you’ve known
But believe you me
The God of strength
Will never let you go
He will overcome, I know

And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It’s gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go

Through many dangers, toils and snares
You have already come
His grace has brought you safe this far
(And) His grace will lead you home

You can hope, you can rise, you can stand
He has still got the whole world in His hands
You can hope, you can rise, you can stand
He’s still got the whole world, the whole world in His hands

He will never let you go

- arms that hold the universe, fee.

my God!
how do You even deal with all the pain and hurt?
i need Stability.

post 312

Rachel — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:42:29 +0000

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD:
“Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the word of the LORD came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.
– Jeremiah 18:1 – 10

the idea that God is a magnificent artist and creator still leaves me breathless.
the idea that He can do whatever He pleases at any time: give me good, give me bad, give me heartbreak, give me joy, give me whatever – that entire realization makes me feel so little and small in this entire world.

‘but who is man that You should look upon him?’
- david

it also makes me wonder why i just give up what little control i try and have over my own life.
why do i keep holding on.

the illustration that He is still working on me is still so powerful to my mind. He is taking me, forming me, pushing me, and it hurts. i’ll go through the kindling fire, i’ll be glazed over, but in the end, i’ll be beautiful.

i am just clay.

post 310

Rachel — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 12:45:45 +0000

i have so many things i want to say. but i don’t know how to say them.
i need to focus, but there are so many things around me that i want to take in.

O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You and praise Your name, for in perfect faithfulness You have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
Isaiah 25:1

in all throughout this semester, i need to remember that God is my faithfulness and my stability. i can’t exactly remember what verse in Isaiah it is, but he specifically chose to name God as his stability.

this semester is going to be tougher than last there’s no doubt.

crap.

Rachel — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:53:20 +0000

“Where the eye is focused, there the imagination finds its raw material. The right focus must be won at immense cost and discipline. Train the eye to see the good, and the imagination will follow suit.” ~ Ravi Zacharias

why does it always seems that i’m never doing enough or the right thing.

intimacy

Rachel — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:53:22 +0000

‘Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area of life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of a strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him.’

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, “Intimate with Jesus”

i want this.

generic new years’ listing

Rachel — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:21:34 +0000

best things from 2009 -

book, when heaven weeps by ted dekker
album, who speaks for planet earth? by and then there were none
going to the philippines
earning respect in the art department
jake and our growing relationship. it makes me speechless
my roommate and our late night tweets
going to the zoo with my best friend
a better relationship with my family
going to legoland, california
seeing God provide in very tangible and specific ways
being a growth group leader
learning how to communicate properly with everyone
being reminded constantly of the meaning of grace
having a lasting family away from my biological one
God
learning my frailty and the constant dependence on God for sustenance
beating jake at pool

things to accomplish this year –

get an a in one of my hands-on actual art classes
learn new knitting patterns
get an actual long-lasting job
remember to take my medicine everyday
remember to take my vitamins everyday
be better at communication with my family and best friend
learn how to love everyone better
meditate more on truths than lies
be better at movie screening
take commitments seriously
read one book per month
learn how to walk in high heels gracefully
journal more often
be a better girlfriend

i probably won’t keep up with anything here. not that i don’t want to. but there’s no chance that i’ll actually be able to accomplish some of these. the depravity of man makes it so that none of us can ever attain an actual level of God-like love, but whatever. aim high. make it look prestigious. fake it. and don’t tell anyone.

the only real thing i have going for me is that i’m determined and i give effort. i won’t ever accomplish anything to the standards i set for myself but who actually ever does? i’m so glad God saves us out of the pure goodness and love in His heart cause i made the list for hell way too long ago.

i’m not trying to be apathetic with goals, but this at least will remind me to actually try this year and focus on specific things to work on. i’ll put it on a list next to my bed when i get back to school.

i need to constantly remind myself: it’s a new day. God gave me a new opportunity. God gave me today. a brand new day. a new day to do something different. a new day to not be in self-pity, doubt, deceit, and depression. this is a brand new day. doesn’t have to be celebrated and over exaggerated with a new year: i was given today.

a totally new opportunity to make it different.

a brand new day.

thoughts on Christmas

Rachel — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 04:46:45 +0000

o come o come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive israel
who mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appears.

stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?
- isaiah 2:22

a thrill of hope. a weary world rejoices.

there’s absolutely no reason why we should even have a taste of the real and pure Love that was given to us.
but i’m so grateful that God chose to love me.
and show me.
in a physical and tangible way.
even though i can’t bear to watch or see.
God loved me.
God loves me.
God is loving me.

joy to the world! the Lord is come!
rejoice! rejoice! Emmanuel has come to thee, o israel.

cards aren’t enough

Rachel — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 05:45:46 +0000

my roommate needs to get better.
i don’t know how i would’ve made it this semester if i didn’t have her.
i love her dearly.

glory to God. forever

Rachel — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:43:11 +0000

The LORD of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; a banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, and refined, aged wine. And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples, even the veil which is stretched over all nations. He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces, and He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken. And it will be said in that day, “Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us this is the LORD for whom we have waited; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.”
- Isaiah 35:6-9