I was having a pretty rough afternoon: everything that could’ve gone wrong did. I had to print, mail, cut, write 18 letters, and my family was driving me nuts while I was trying to do it, too. I’ve been overly tired and exhausted, and I was getting really irritable – I’m not a happy camper when I’m deprived of sleep.

I had to go back home, re-open letters and stick a picture of me in them (they were already supposed to be in there, but my little brother forgot and just sealed them), and then back out to the post office. I didn’t have any of my metal music (my aphrodisiac to my off moods), so the Classic Crime was playing.

I finally got to the post office, still upset and frustrated as ever, but as I was walking to the door, the man in front of me opened it and held it for me. I told him thank you, and he smiled and said ‘Your welcome.’

As I was coming out, another man was walking in. I held the door open for him, and he said ‘Oh! Excuse me, ma’am – thank you!’

It’s interesting how even though I was really female dog-like for 80% of my afternoon, those two encounters reminded me that, it’s going to be ok. They didn’t say anything, and they didn’t know anything; but the fact that they were polite, smiled, and seemed sincere… I don’t know what it was, but it was just a small glimpse of sunlight for me.

It made me a little happier.

I’m only a week into the Christmas break of five weeks, and I’m already going out of my mind.
I remember why I wanted to get out of this house… I’m so ready for that freedom that I have at school. As much as I love my family and friends, I just don’t want to stay here and spend the rest of my life here. I’m real appreciative to see everyone again, but I’m even more thankful to be out of this house and be living on my own.

My family isn’t too bad. It’s not an authoritarian structure, and I’m not boxed in all the time. I just miss that taste of freedom and independence. I’m much happier at school than I am here in Greenville.

I want to try and blog more my second semester. I tried a little bit during the first, more of in my written journal than here. But I realize how disciplined I was in high school, and I want to continue on with it in college.

I have a month basically to survive in this household until I can go back to Indiana.
I already hate how idle I’ve become, too. There’s only so much I can do by myself since my friends are out of town or busy. I’m already reading more, doing more artwork… And obviously taken up my interest in designing and blogging again. I’ve missed this.

For the next month or so, I promise to try and blog everyday. I need to write down my thoughts about the days and do something… Maybe more youtube exploring or book/movie/music reviewing… Whatever. I just can’t stay idle.