best things from 2009 -

• book, when heaven weeps by ted dekker
• album, who speaks for planet earth? by and then there were none
• going to the philippines
• earning respect in the art department
• jake and our growing relationship. it makes me speechless
• my roommate and our late night tweets
• going to the zoo with my best friend
• a better relationship with my family
• going to legoland, california
• seeing God provide in very tangible and specific ways
• being a growth group leader
• learning how to communicate properly with everyone
• being reminded constantly of the meaning of grace
• having a lasting family away from my biological one
• God
• learning my frailty and the constant dependence on God for sustenance
• beating jake at pool

things to accomplish this year –

• get an a in one of my hands-on actual art classes
• learn new knitting patterns
• get an actual long-lasting job
• remember to take my medicine everyday
• remember to take my vitamins everyday
• be better at communication with my family and best friend
• learn how to love everyone better
• meditate more on truths than lies
• be better at movie screening
• take commitments seriously
• read one book per month
• learn how to walk in high heels gracefully
• journal more often
• be a better girlfriend

i probably won’t keep up with anything here. not that i don’t want to. but there’s no chance that i’ll actually be able to accomplish some of these. the depravity of man makes it so that none of us can ever attain an actual level of God-like love, but whatever. aim high. make it look prestigious. fake it. and don’t tell anyone.

the only real thing i have going for me is that i’m determined and i give effort. i won’t ever accomplish anything to the standards i set for myself but who actually ever does? i’m so glad God saves us out of the pure goodness and love in His heart cause i made the list for hell way too long ago.

i’m not trying to be apathetic with goals, but this at least will remind me to actually try this year and focus on specific things to work on. i’ll put it on a list next to my bed when i get back to school.

i need to constantly remind myself: it’s a new day. God gave me a new opportunity. God gave me today. a brand new day. a new day to do something different. a new day to not be in self-pity, doubt, deceit, and depression. this is a brand new day. doesn’t have to be celebrated and over exaggerated with a new year: i was given today.

a totally new opportunity to make it different.

a brand new day.