I watched a recent rally for Hilary Clinton on Fox News, and I was pretty astonished at how she handled herself. She said pretty demeaning and negatory things to the Bush administration (and don’t start, people, seriously. We’re not ever going to have an absolutely perfect President that everyone’s going to agree with. I like him, my blog, end of story) which was pretty expected considering she’s a Democrat and - see parenthesis.

Really, though. Do you want a candidate that’s going to outright insult a previous President? It wasn’t towards the administration as much as his character and actions. Do we need to revisit her husband’s two terms? Bush and the other candidates, congressmen, and elected officials haven’t said how bug-eyed she looks or that her husband was a total whore. Oh nooo… Heaven forbid.

But honestly. Forget candidates, political parties, elections… Hilary Clinton doesn’t have good sportsmanship conduct. If she acts smug, cocky, arrogant and insults an opponent… Aren’t we supposed to frown upon that? Don’t our, oh, I don’t know… Parents, teachers, coaches teach us to behave properly and act like a good sportsman even if we don’t like the opponent?

If she shoots her mouth off now… In the Americas… Against a previous President… What’s to stop her if (and God forbid, I hope this doesn’t happen) she becomes the President and still shoots her mouth off at other officials? What’s to say we have a new world conflict because she hated Ehud Oldmert’s haircut and apparel? Or what if she thinks Gordon Brown and England’s use of the pound and metric system is archaic?

Seriously. If she’s going to be mean and… a total witch in our home country and against opponents (who, again, haven’t said a thing about her and her husband), she could cause a conflict if she gets elected. Really, I just don’t want a person like that to represent me - one who can’t be a good sportsman, insulting, and disrespectful towards previous elders.

Part III: Continuously Praising God

(If you do not know what I’m doing, you can refer to this post)

On Sunday night, the teens of our church presented all our Teens involved presentations to the congregation. We did our dramas, puppet skits, a few sang songs, others played their instruments… I played the piano.

I messed up a little bit, here and there, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. Really, my mind wasn’t in it at all… With all these inner conflicts going on, I just kept thinking ‘This isn’t like before… My heart’s not in it. I didn’t pray beforehand like I usually do. I didn’t dedicate the whole piece to God like usual…’ Honestly, I just didn’t play my best, and that was my sin.

There’s a verse in the Bible that deals with this subject, and it’s a favourite of mine.

‘Wherefore it is our ambition… to be pleasing Him.’ 2 Corinthians 5:9

I really do believe that unless we give our absolute best in everything, we’re sinning because we’re not giving our entire selves and actions to God. He deserves our best. He really does. This includes washing the dishes (getting that extra speck even though we really want to finish), practicing our hardest (and not just doing it to say we’re done), or even the things we do in front of people. We have to give our best in everything we put ourselves into, or else we’re sinning against God.

So, when I messed up Sunday night, it was because my conscience finally got to me that I haven’t been the same. It wasn’t because of the air conditioner, or because I could hear people talking and laughing. It was because I came to the realization, mid-piece, that I was doing that for myself and not for God.

Part II: The Emotional Side of Christianity and Doubt

(If you do not know what I’m doing, you can refer to this post)

Lately I haven’t been feeling like a Christian. ‘How is a Christian supposed to feel?’ you ask. The typical answer is that emotional high felt while participating in praise & worships songs with other Christians present (you know what I’m talking about). But in reality, I believe that feeling is produced more by hormones and adrenaline. You feel that high every once in a while because of those around you and what you’re doing at that time. For example, at camp, I get that feeling because I’m surrounded by other believers, because the music is amazing, and because I really believe the words of the songs being sung. As soon as you strip away the atmosphere, you feel like your normal self, and you don’t have that high.

I just don’t feel like a Christian at times. I really don’t.

However I remember what my dad would tell me when I had these kind of doubts: It’s your hormones and emotions. You don’t have to feel like a Christian (that emotional high) to be one.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Christianity is a decision. You decide to admit you’re a sinner. You decide to admit you need Christ. You decide that the only way out of pain and suffering is through Christ.

A long time ago (and a couple other times, to be honest), I’ve decided to take that path. I decided to accept Christ. I decided to admit that I’m not good at all — basically, a tree is better at praising God than I do at times. I decided to live my life the way God wants me to. I decided that Christ is the only way to Heaven, the only way to peace, the only way to true happiness.

And even though I don’t feel those emotional highs, I know that I’m still a Christian because of my decision. Because even though I feel apathetic, sad, and worthless, through Christ’s sacrifice 2,000yrs ago, I’m going to Heaven. Because I decided to trust that what He did was enough.

Reader, you might not understand what I’m talking about, but that’s ok. If you want to talk further about Christ and what He did way way way back in the day, then you can just contact me.