!REVOLUTION

So I have a new layout up featuring Jake Gyllenhall. He’s got to be one of the hottest guys I know out there. :inlove: Yeah, I know, What’s this?! Rachel’s talking about hot guys?! Not exactly my biggest thing, but it’s not a sin to admit when someone’s attractive. And besides, it’s not like my ‘guys’ fill the norm mold of Brad Pitt and Ashton Kutcher. I like those tall, geeky,  gawky kind of people with dark hair–Adrian Brody, Zach Braff, Jake Gyllenhaal. :tongue: I also like 3-columned layouts seeing as how they fit everything I need in an index page without being overly cluttered. Maybe soon I’ll even dive into the world of horizontal scrollbars! :batman:

So once again I’ve hit another low. I was doing so well this past week, and I felt incredibly better than I have in the past couple months. But due to spastic weather, I got sick. My meds already decrease my immune system to begin with, so it takes me a lot longer to heal. And I was reminded that even if I tried some dayquil, the prednisone would cancel it out, so I have to grin and bear it. :meh: And, of course, I have to get sick on the eve of all my majour practices.

According to this myspace quiz… I’m both OCD and depressed with a splash of bipolar and ADHD.

Anorexia
[] You’re very weak.
[ ] You hate your body.
[] You starve yourself.
[] You have low self-esteem.
[] You use laxatives.
[ ] You need to be thinner.
[ ] People always say you’re skinny, but you think you’re fat.
[x] People think you are way too skinny.
Total: 1

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
[x] You are hyper most of the time.
[x] You barely pay attention to anything.
[x] You cannot cooperate with people well.
[] You seem to never sit still.
[] You talk all the time.
[] You need attention.
Total: 3

Bipolar Disorder
[x] You can act wild at times, and then the next you are severely depressed.
[x] You can be very irritable.
[x] You barely get any or no sleep.
[] You are anti-social.
[x] You have very high self-esteem at times.
[] You are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex.
[x] You have thought of/attempted suicide.
Total: 5

Bulimia
[] You throw up all of your food.
[ ] You throw it up even when you don’t feel sick.
[]You have no control over how you eat.
[] You use laxatives.
[] You eat fast.
[ ] You have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[] You say your fat
[x] People think you are way too skinny.
Total: 1

Depression
[x] You sometimes.. always are sad.
[x] You sometimes ..always are crying.
[] You find no hope in your future.
[x] You find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] You always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[x] You can be/are anti-social.
[x] You keep to your self.
[x] You don’t share some things with others. even your best friends
[x] You have low self-esteem.
[x] Usually, Everything bad that happens is always your fault.
[] Hope is no longer there for you.
Total: 9

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
[x] You have daily rituals.
[x] You have disturbing thoughts you hate.
[x] You have to do a certain thing until it is right.
[x] You have to keep things in a certain order.
[ ] You have harmed yourself.
[x] You are afraid you will get any kind of germs.
[x] You have to check some stuff over again.
Total: 6

Schizophrenia
[] You often have hallucinations (seeing things or hearing things that aren’t there).
[] You have strange, unusual dreams.
[] You can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] You think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] You have extreme anxiety or fearfulness.
[]You have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex.
[] You do not take care of your hygiene like you should.
[] You are very shy at times.
[x]You sometimes talk too yourself.
Total: 3

The one with the highest total is your illness.

Psh.
I could’ve told them I was both without having to take a quiz… but anyways…

A friend of mine’s mom has cancer, and she’s been undergoing treatment for it; and from what I’ve heard, she’s been doing incredibly well. It got me to thinking, though, about my disorder and how sometimes God places us in certain situations to not only grow but also to counsel others. Like when Mordecai told Esther “Maybe you were placed in this situation for a such a time as this.” Even though my friend isn’t directly affected (meaning, he’s not the one possessing said disease) with cancer, he’s going to be able to learn and help others who might be placed in a similar situation. And even though I’m not going to come into regular contact with a person possessing a muscle disorder, I can still somehow help others?

One of the kids from my France missions trip said she really looks up to me “Because even though you have a muscle disorder and your bones be weak…you’re really STRONG, strong in your faith! You don’t questions God and you just kind of realize ‘I have it for a reason.’” I don’t exactly view myself as some ‘ultra-Christian’ or even the greatest example of a Christian seeing as how I struggle with things and, obviously here in my blog, I let my anger and my annoyances get the best of me. I try to do my best and be a good example, but if someone asked ‘Who’s the most godly person you know?’ I wouldn’t point a finger at me; and I’d honestly be shocked if someone else said me.

So how exactly could I help someone else?… Throughout my whole ordeal, I’ve complained, cried and basically just wanted to die. I don’t exactly see how I could be of much help to anyone or how I could counsel anyone. If someone who’s going through a muscle disorder just wanted someone to talk to, then, yeah, I could help; but other than that, I just don’t see my usefulness. :confused:

Yesterday, I hooked up some speakers to my computer, and I found my pink eyeshadow that mysteriously disappeared a few months ago. That made my day. :reallyblushing: